Norrington's Lament
by Blue September Rain
Summary: [song fic][POSSIBLE tissue alert] Norrington falls after Will and Elizabeth proclaim their love. But somewhere, someone is watching him, and will help him to understand...


Norrington's Lament

-To the song "Broken Vow"-

By: Banana Nut Muffin

Song by: Josh Groban

I don't own either.

A/n: I thought I'd write this because I wanted to be "nice" to Norrington for once, and I felt inspired by Josh Groban's songs. He's great. Anyway, incase you missed the warning on the synopsis, this might have a tissue alert.

-- -- -- --

Norrington's POV 

I turned back and watched as Elizabeth took off Will's hat, then kissed him. It was in that instant that my heart was crushed. "Sir?" I blinked and turned my head, and saw Gilette staring at me, along with several other soldiers. "Are you alright?" He asked me.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." I replied, brushing past them. I hurried to my office and closed the door, locking it. I didn't want to be around anyone at the moment. I had always thought that Elizabeth and I had something special. I had thought she would accept my proposal straight away, but I was wrong. I expect she would have, had she not had that ridiculous corset on, and had the bloody pirates not attack Port Royal and captured her.

But it happened, and I was not quick enough. Will Turner was rash enough to engage in piracy in order to save her. He would have given up everything to save her, and I waited too long. Her heart had already gone to him. Given a second chance, I would have gone to Sparrow right away, even if it meant working with a _pirate_.

I dropped my head into my hands and stared down at the grain in the wood of my desk. A small, sudden dark spot appeared on the wood, and I touched it with a finger. It was wet. Tears. I was crying. I reached to my cheek and felt the salty tears falling down. I used the sleeve of my coat to wipe them away.

I jumped when someone started knocking on my door. I wiped my face clear once more, then said, "Come in."

The door opened, and Governor Swann stepped in. I tried to read his face, but there were so many emotions written on his face, I could not tell what he exactly feeling. Governor Swann sat down in the chair opposite me. "I'm terribly sorry about the change of events." He said. I nodded.

"It's alright." I answered, lying right to his face. Of course it wasn't alright!

"But you know, ever since we found Will at sea, they have been the best of friends. I must admit I thought that something like this might happen." I sighed.

"Indeed." I didn't want to hear anymore. "I'm sorry, Governor, but I have work to do." I said, lying again. He nodded and stood. He turned to leave, then looked at me again. I busied myself with shifting through useless papers sitting on my desk, making it look like I really _was_ doing something. He said nothing, and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Tell me his name 

_I want to know_

_The way he looks_

_And where you go_

_I need to see his face_

_I need to understand_

_Why you and I came to an end_

After that day, I often saw Elizabeth and Will in each others company. When I went to the blacksmith's shop to order new swords, I found them laughing and dancing around like children. They had stopped when I came in, and Will apologized. I immediately didn't want to use his service for swords, but he _was_ the best in town, and it would have cost too much to order more over seas.

"It's alright." I said, faking a smile, and a humor that I knew wasn't there. I gave him my order as quickly as possible, and left. There was no more use for me to hang around there longer than I needed to.

But seeing her with him drove me mad. To see her beautiful, laughing face with him instead of me hurt deep down in my soul. Everyday, a little piece of my heart died.

It wasn't long before I started seeing the two walking along the beach. It was the same every time. Elizabeth would be wearing a light cotton dress. Her brown curls would be loose in the wind, and she would be barefoot. She always had a rose or some other flower tucked behind her ear. Her face would be lit up like the sun. Beside her, holding her hand, would be Will, also barefoot, wearing dark pants and a white shirt, mostly unbuttons, which I concluded was from the heat in the blacksmith's shop.

They would stop walking, and hold each other. It seemed like they were dancing, dancing to the music only they could hear. Then Will would kiss her. Nothing else mattered to them; they would be in their own little world, and they were the only ones there.

_Tell me again_

_I want to hear_

_Who broke my faith for all these years_

_Who lays with you at night_

_While I'm here all alone_

Remembering when I was your own 

Three months after _that day_, I could tell people knew something was wrong with me. My soldiers would give me sympathetic looks whenever I walked by. I don't think they knew I could see it in their eyes. Gilette was constantly talking to me, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Sometimes, he would say he understood, but he didn't. I knew he didn't. He married the girl he fell in love with when they were children. He has never felt the heartbreak that I felt.

As days past, I got more and more looks. Stranger, and more sympathetic. So I looked in a mirror. No wonder they stared. There were dark circles under my eyes, and my eyes were red, bloodshot. My face was pale, despite the long hours spent in the Caribbean sun.

However, I continued to convince everyone that I was fine. I didn't want anyone to know what I felt inside. I gave that up when I joined the King's Service. It was far from professional to put your own troubles on anyone else… so I refrained.

Were I to confide in anyone, I would tell them the mess that was inside me. My heart, torn into little pieces. My dying soul, curled up, scared, and hiding, refusing to help me smile when necessary. I would tell them that my face was set in a permanent frown, and that I knew I seemed more intimidating to people who did not know me. It was not always my intention to act like that, but when you are in command of hundreds of people and ships, then you must be stern.

And when I finished telling the person that, then I would tell them the deepest secret I was holding in my heart. My longing for my life to end…

_I let you go_

_I let you fly_

_Why do I keep on asking why_

_I let you go_

_Now that I found_

A way to keep somehow 

_More than a broken vow_

Though the thought of suicide had entered my mind more than once, I never did it.

Seven months after _the day_, I was on the Interceptor II when Gilette called to me. "Yes?"

"Miss Swann is here to see you." He said. My heart jumped. Was she here to reaccept my proposal? No… probably not.

I wandered down to the docks, and saw her standing there. Before I approached, I just stared at her. The radiating beauty that she was always took my breath away. I just stared at her for several minutes before she spotted me. She walked gracefully to me and smiled. "Good afternoon Commodore." She said smiling.

"Good afternoon Miss Swann." I replied, forcing my soul out of hiding to help me smile. "Is there something I can help you with?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No, actually, I just wanted to give you this." She said, holding up an envelope. "It's an invitation to mine and Will's wedding." She said. Her eyes lit up when she said "wedding".

I gingerly reached out and took the invitation from her. On the front in beautiful writing was "Commodore James Norrington". "I hope you can make it." She said. "But I have to go. My father is taking Will and I to the house that he is going to by for us. It's up there." She said, pointing to the house set into the hills, and only a five-minute walk from the beach. "Isn't it pretty?" She asked. I nodded to satisfy her. "Well, let us know if you can make it. Good day." She said.

"Good day." I replied, and she hurried off to the waiting carriage. After she was gone, I stared at the invitation. It would be taken care of later. I tucked the little white envelope into the pocket on the inside of my coat.

Tell me the words I never said 

_Show me the tears you never shed_

_Give me the touch_

_The one you promised to be mine_

_Of has it vanished for all time?_

That night, I sat on my bed in my bedroom. I was looking at the envelope which I had placed on the bedspread. Though it's intention was to bring joy, to me, it was a curse. A horrible curse that came from the dark depths of hell.

On my nightstand stood the bottle that I had gotten earlier. It was a clear bottle, with a dark liquid in it. I didn't know why the pirates seemed to like it so much. It was truly vile.

However, as the bitter taste lingered in my mouth, I suddenly had a craving for it. I turned and looked at the other curse from hell. It was calling to me. I tried to resist by crawling into my bed and pulling the blankets over my head, but I could still hear it. Finally, I flung off the blankets and reached for the bottle, nearly knocking over the candle sitting on my nightstand. I pulled off the top and took a drink. The liquid slithered down my throat like a serpent of sin. More. I drank more, and more… and more.

Before I knew it, my pain had gone. All the bitterness inside of me was gone. I was happy. That was until I took the final long drink of the vile drink, and fell back on my bed, the bottle rolling out of my hand and crashing onto the floor, shattering, and sending glass everywhere.

When I awoke the next morning, I groaned. My head was pounding, as if I had been kicked in the head by a horse. When I sat up and recovered from the dizzy spell, I realized what I had done. I saw the broken bottle on my floor.

"Oh my god." I said to myself. I had just drunk an entire bottle of rum. I was disgusted with myself, and all the pain from the day before was back. Then I saw the envelope. It had fluttered to the floor during the night. One corner of it had soaked up a bit of rum, so it was slightly discolored.

Ignoring the mess on my floor, I stumbled into my living room, and looked at the clock. "Oh my god." I said again. It was noon. I quickly bathed, and changed. I knew someone would have noticed my absence. I was always there early. I hoped I wouldn't be questioned.

I was.

I let you go 

_I let you fly_

_Why do I keep on asking why_

_I let you go_

_Now that I fond_

_The way to keep somehow_

_More than a broken vow…_

A few weeks later I found myself walking to the beach. An alter had been set up, and many chairs. Elizabeth and Will wanted their wedding as close to the sea as they could without having to go on a boat. If only to add to the excitement to the day, Elizabeth found out she was two months pregnant. Though she was only two months pregnant, she had the warm glow that all soon-to-be mothers had.

As I watched Elizabeth walk down the isle, arm in arm with her father, my heart fell once again. She was dressed in a beautiful white gown, and her hair was loose, fluttering gently in the salty breeze form the ocean. To my surprise, and to the surprise to many of the other people there, she was barefoot. As was Will.

"You may kiss the bride." The priest said, and Will pulled his new wife into his arms and kissed her, long and passionate. When the group was dismissed to go back to Governor Swann's for the reception, I slipped away, not wanting to be a part of this happiness any longer than I had to.

Though, I had another reason for leaving early. I had not been feeling well. I suspected it was from lack of food and sleep, but when I tried to eat, I couldn't, and when I tried to sleep, I couldn't. My coat now hung loosely on me. I denied a doctor. I didn't need one. I was going to be fine. I just needed sleep.

I returned home and went to my room, changing into nightclothes, and climbing into bed. I laid my head on the pillow, and listened to the sounds coming from the open window. My mind began to wander.

I close my eyes 

_And dream of you and I_

_And then I realize_

_There's more to love than only bitterness and lies_

_I close my eyes_

_I'd give away my soul_

_To hold you once again_

_And never let this promise end…_

I closed my eyes. Instead of just seeing Elizabeth, I saw both Elizabeth and Will. They were dancing, holding a baby girl. The new parents were happy, and both were crying. They were happy that their daughter had been born without complications. I smiled. The first real smile in a long time. A tear fell down my cheek. Maybe… just… maybe… Elizabeth and I weren't meant for each other. She was meant to be with Will… to bring a new life into the world, and grace the whole world with her beauty, for she would look like her mother. This must be God's way of telling me that I was meant to be there, watching the little girl grow up, secretly. No one would know I was there, for I would be invisible. Watching from above, protecting the small child through her life, making sure that she was never hurt, and never lost. I was to be her guiding light. This was my almighty purpose. To guide her through life.

I coughed. My chest felt weak, and breathing was now difficult. I knew it was my time. But I didn't mind. I would die knowing my place. Will and Elizabeth would live on with their daughter, and I would watch from God's side, smiling down on the family.

I was released. All the pain from the last few months was gone. I felt free, light, and without anger. Will wasn't so bad. He was a good man and would take care of Elizabeth. I had helped to bring the two together, since they were destined to be together. Gilette was destined to become Commodore.

I smiled thinking about Gilette's face when he receives his promotion. I knew he always looked up to me, and now, someone else would look up to him, hoping that one day they too could become Commodore.

The darkness in my soul cleared, like a fog, lifting into the sky and disappearing, bringing a blue sky and bright sun. My soul came out from hiding, and reached out to the sun. It was time. Time for me to leave this place, this earth. Farewell, good earth. You were kind to me, but now I must go. Farewell Will. Forever be the man you grew to be. Farewell Governor Swann, it was a pleasure working for you. Farewell Gilette. You will make a good Commodore. And finally… farewell Elizabeth. Though my heart loved for you all these years, we weren't meant to be. I hope you find happiness in everything you do. Farewell…. Farewell…

My eyes closed slowly…

I let you go 

_I let you fly_

_Now that I know, I'm asking why_

_I let you go_

_Now that I found_

_A way to keep somehow_

_More than a broken… vow…_

-- -- -- --

Fin.

-Banana Nut Muffin


End file.
